I am at 'piece' again...

Wow, it amazing what a picture can do to you that you haven't looked at in a while...since cleaning off my platters, I have found myself scrapbooking more. I just can't express how relaxing and calming it is. To go back through hundreds and hundreds of pictures to pick a theme to create an everlasting memory is just breathtaking. My whole world stops revolving around me and I just go back to that moment in time that my camera captured. I just sit and stare at it and just smile. No matter what the day held for me, as soon as I sit down, I am happy and at 'piece'!

It takes a few minutes to visualize it in my head of what I want. Once the glue goes down, there is no turning back. I go through tons of papers and embellishments, making sure to pick the perfect one. Then I start cropping, trimming, distressing, rearranging a few times, and then it starts to come together...just like 'pieces' of a puzzle. As I get further into it, the empty spaces begin to fill up. I don't empty space, geesh, now that I think about it, no wonder I don't like empty space on my pages...I hate empty spaces in my time and life. If I have a few minutes to chill, I am still doing something. I don't sit, everyone knows that, so I guess they go together...anyway, back to scrapbooking. (just had a KDD moment there) I then look at the page and see where I can fit one more embellishment or ribbon. Finally, when there is no more room, it is just perfect for me, like the pieces of a puzzle, it just all fits together!

For those of you who don't know, I used to teach scrapbooking at Central Texas College. I did a few classes and then stopped. It was great, it was there I met two awesome ladies who one of them became such a dear friend, her and her family. We will have such a great story to scrapbook together one day when I move back to Texas...I brought allllllllll my scrapbooking supplies here to Oki and hopet og et caught up on the past 7 years...ouch, that looks bad. I don't go in order, I look through pictures and when a page idea comes to mind, I go for it. I am very behind, but hey, you can't rush time. I like to create scrapbooks for others as well, but can't put my heart and soul into someone else's memories while mine are so fresh in my head.

My scrapbooking tells my life, my dreams, my goals. It lets me be me with every ribbon, paper, rub on, and chipboard letter. It is my one way to express myself at the given moment in time and if I ever lose who I am, I just take a few minutes to sit down and look through the finished books. I just smile or caress the picture. Takes me back. There is no replacing that with any piece of technology, bank account, car, trip, nothing because it lies in your soul. You take all the materialistic things out of this world and you are still left with moments, happy, sad, funny, frightening, but you still have it...forever.

My scrapbooks are my book of life and I am the author...I am not after a prize or recognition, just capturing memories and holding onto them. One of Jacob's most favorite things to do is to sit down in my lap and we go through his baby books. I tell each and every story and he just laughs as I hug him tighter and tighter. When we are done, he says, 'can we do it again, I love my baby moments'. I save every little piece of moments for my books. Ticket stubs, receipts, ribbons, etc to add to that moment. I try to make each page come to life while looking at it.

Well, he just got home from school and it is time to go back and start his 6th Birthday Party page...will be posted soon!!!

7 Years in the Making!!

Ugh, does this have to happen today...Jacob turns 7...I am just torn up about it. Yes, of course I am so happy and fun about the day, but he's getting older and I don't want him to. I want him to stay young and my baby. I know that won't happen and I need to let him grow up, I am, trust me, but at night when I go in to tuck him in, I just can't help but get sappy. He still looks like the day he was born and when I kiss him goodnight, he makes that noise babies do and throws his arms up to stretch and move. Uh, sigh. His birthday party went awesome, no other way to describe it. Just perfect. We are so blessed with the friends here and they were all there. They were there for mine, and now for his. Just wonderful! I know that I can't keep him a baby, but he will always be one to me. I try everyday to raise him the 'right' way. I have a hard time realizing that you can't raise the kids today like we were. It sucks. I am way to over protective, but I can't fathom the idea of anything happening to my baby boy! I love you Bunk, Happy 7th Birthday!!!

As I sit here...

I just stare at the screen trying to remember word for word what I wanted to type throughout the day when I finally get a chance to sit and type. Now that my PINK keyboard is in front of me, I draw a blank. Then it dawns on me as I sort through the tons of websites I visit each day why I am typing...HATERS SUCK. Sorry, that was a bit harsh, but so are they. Just imagine the tone of that sentence with me very cool, calm, and relaxed sitting with you and chatting and then all of a sudden, I jump up and scream, HATERS SUCK...get the picture, good, here I go, hang on...!

The other day I, well, Jacob and I, ran some errands and we came across an entertainment unit on the curb. We looked it over, made sure it wasn't broke and grabbed it. I wanted to add some color to it so I covered it in fabric, to give it some life. I posted it and sure enough, my HATER fan club came out again. They wrote on the OYS site this time and not the underground page that this sat in the rain, was wobbly, cracked and broke. I don't pick stuff up that is like that. I am trying to start a business doing this so why would I?? I guess there are people out there that just can't stand other success. It bothers me. I know I shouldn't let it, but I am not that strong to hide it. I can tell you that it's not a big deal, but it is. It hurts. It sucks.

I got bashed a few weeks ago and gave up. Then I sat back and realized that nobody will do that to me. Well, I started looking at my plate of things like this...let me paint you another picture...You have a BBQ, all the food at this BBQ are your ideas, dreams, thoughts, projects all laid out on the table for you. You go down the line, look at some of them and decide if this is for you. Is it good for you, is it bad, will it cause heartache, etc. Then you sit down and enjoy every last bite of those mixtures of ideas, dreams, and thoughts. Yummy, just thinking about how delicious they are and how you could just let this fester in your stomach and do you good...right? When you are finished, it's time to scrap off the tiny bit of leftovers you can't fit in your waistline anymore. Well, you go to lay it down on the counter because in comes another idea and you forget about the plate that now has the food drying and sticking to it. It continues to sit and harden because you are to busy jotting down other ideas, dreams, and thoughts. You go off and have a blast with those new ideas and just let the other ones sit. Well, there is a time that you HAVE TO GO AND CLEAN IT OFF. Wash the plate and put it away for another time. There will be more BBQ's, trust me.

So, for now, with being at peace with it all, I have whole heartedly decided to stop the junkin' and flippin' for a bit. I am strong in a sense that I can survive my husband defending this country, but can't survive people tearing me up. All my friends tell me not to let it stop me, but I just can't do it anymore. I will get my plate out again in Texas where I have the support system with me at work everyday to do this.

Right now, it is time to focus on becoming a substitute teacher, which my packet has been filled out for about 9 months. I just haven't taken it up because I have been to busy with the furniture stuff, you know the bad food...Hopefully I will get picked up for that and will be surrounded in my scrapbooking. I haven't done that since we got here and my goal was to be caught up on my thousands of pictures before we go back. If I make anything, it will go on ebay or etsy. Somewhere where people appreciate the work and not slam it into the ground, like this place. This island is small and these wives have nothing else to do but get in other peoples way. I am not giving up, I am just going to relax for a bit with all of this. I am smiling and very content. I appreciate all the awesome feedback and comments. Truly is amazing.